Tuesday, February 19, 2019

How To Be Happy Or Miserable

What is there in life that makes us happier people?

Researchers in recent years have carefully explored the happiness challenge and the answers they found to the question above conclude that it is not money we need. No, after basic needs are met, more money does little for happiness.

We will start with how to be Happy. If for some reason you wish to be miserable those tips are at the bottom of the article. 

Science has shown that taking little steps every day, changing your frame of mind, and living healthier will help make you happy

If happiness is not at the top of your list then other things will take precedence. If other things take precedence, they may well interfere with your efforts to feel good.

Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Just like in any other life domain, the successful pursuit of happiness requires planning.

Set happy goals while planning. This requires an effective goal setting. To do this make sure your goals are SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timed).

Do things that make you happy. You get busy, change your happiness value, many people simply forget to do things from which they gain pleasure. And do them as often as possible.

The World Happiness Report states “Over 1 billion adults suffer from anxiety and depression.” How do we get to happy? Jacqueline Way, Founder of www.365give.ca shares a secret to happiness so simple a 3 – year old can do it. Jacqueline is a mother of three boys and social good activist dedicated to changing the world 1 give, 1 day at a time. You will learn through her powerful story how your body is hard-wired for giving. Researchers from all over the world have been studying the science and physiological of giving for decades. They’ve discovered giving makes you happy, makes you high, is our bodies natural “Fountain of Youth” and reduces stress. Her inspirational journey with her son and thousands of children will inspire you start a daily giving habit that will make you happy and change the world

Set yourself tasks from which you’ll gain satisfaction, as well as pleasure and enjoyment. It’s important to have satisfaction as part of happiness. Do this when you’re planning your tasks and activities include things that might not be fun, but from which you’ll gain a sense of achievement.

Don’t take life too seriously. Although we all have responsibilities there’s no reason why we can’t approach much of our lives in a playful manner. In fact, those who do so will undoubtedly be happier.

Do not live in a fantasy. Know where your faults and weaknesses are to avoid problems. Know where your strengths lie to be really happy and to succeed in life.

Constantly search for new ways to be happy. Keep a lookout for new ways to approach life and to have fun.

Be grateful and appreciate what you have. There’s no doubt, that gratitude and appreciation will significantly increase your chances of experiencing happiness.

What is the answer to the life long question of how to be happy? The answer’s actually right in front of you in the way you react to the things around you.

Learn to like and ideally to love yourself. We must love before we can be loved. To love others and to be loved by others is a key component of happiness.

Spend time and energy into your key relationships. Happy people spend more time working on and in their relationships.

Socialize and interact with others as much as possible. Happy people have both more and better quality relationships. So as well as working to improve the quality of your relationships it’s also worthwhile working to improve the number of your relationships.

Weed out unhelpful thoughts. The Dalai Lama has been quoted saying that “The central method for achieving a happier life is to train your mind in a daily practice that weakens negative attitudes and strengthens positive ones.” Learn first to identify your thoughts and then begin to challenge those that are negative and unhelpful.

The two parts to developing helpful, optimistic thinking. The first is to weed out unhelpful negative thoughts and the second is to plant more positive optimistic ones. This is essentially a skill, and like any other skill becomes easier and more effective with practice.

Eat well and keep active. Exercise regularly. Although not impossible, it’s difficult to be happy if you’re constantly sick and not very healthy.

Ensure you gain adequate sleep and rest.
It is difficult to be happy if you’re constantly tired and struggling to find enough energy to get through the day. To assist with this, regularly practice relaxation and/or meditation strategies.

Most happy people tend to believe they’re more in control of their lives. In doing so, they’re more likely to take an active approach to solve problems. If something’s not quite right in your life, do something. And further, make sure that what you’re doing is important. Put first things first.

Control what you can control. Accept what you can’t control. And learn to be wise enough to know the difference.

An author, Henry Miller once said: “Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

The only moment in which we can truly be happy is the present moment. The only moment over which we have control is the present moment. So be happy now! Because if not now, then when?

Make happiness an integral part of your life.
Develop happiness routines and make them a part of your everyday living. Remind yourself however you can to do what you need to do and reward yourself as often as possible for doing what you’ve done.

Your job is pretty important. Chances are you like food and your job is a way to keep food going into your mouth.

But it’s just a job. If you don’t design your life, someone will design it for you. What we’re trying to say is that if you don’t rule your job, your job will rule you. Make sure to take time off, disconnect from work, and just keep reminding yourself that your job isn’t everything.

 

How to make yourself miserable

Being miserable is an art form. There are many ways of achieving it. A few sure-fire ways are below.

Wait for the situation to be right before having a good time. One of my favorite Chinese proverbs is “ People who wait for roast duck to fly into the mouth, will wait a long time”. Put off having a great
life until you have the right job, house, partner, a friend is a great way of putting off life altogether.

Compare yourself to others. Spend hours thinking about how much more beautiful, happy, intelligent, creative, insightful and wonderful everybody else is compared to you. Think those glossy people who are featured in glossy magazines have glossy lives despite lots of evidence to the contrary.

Give others the power to control your life.
Don’t do the things you want to do, Let other people choose your life directions and priorities for you. This allows you to avoid responsibility, When you end up miserable (and believe me you will!) blame the people you let make the decisions,

Try to make other people happy. Try to fix other people or spend your life trying to please them. Base your life decisions on what other people will think of you rather than what you want to do.

Feel it is better to avoid rejection than to love.
Play safe. If you don’t try to love people you can’t be let down or hurt. Resign yourself to a life of perpetual disappointment.

Talk yourself out of stuff you really would like to do.
Spend time telling yourself you can’t do things because you are not smart enough or talented enough and you can really begin to believe that if you don’t try, you can’t fail.

Believe you don’t deserve to be happy.

Say yes when you mean no. It’s nice to be helpful and agreeable but if
you say yes to things you don’t want to do, you can end up feeling really bad about yourself or resentful of people. Long-term resentment turns into bitterness.

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